patrick's epiphany
I just reached home and i'm fucking tired. and i even think im abit high
but i have to blog about my sudden epiphany..
i realise now that all this time i've been dreaming fruitlessly. how much more idealistic/emotional/romantic can i get..to think that i even for a second believed that this was more than it really was. i know now who you are, what you want, how you see me, what i am to you, and most of all, my own blatant naive foolishness. i can't do casual. its not me. of course we can be friends; i mean, wasn't that what we were all along? pardon my awkwardness; i assure you i'm trying to be as nonchalent as possible. i really am. i'm just not used to it thats all. what he said was right; about me being able to fall very steep and very fast and being completly oblivious to truth. what he said about you was right too; that you aren't ready, that you are not sure of what you want now and that we want each other for different reasons. oh, and the part that i deserve better. its just such a pity...because i really do like you...and i could like you even more. you know.. after our earlier conversation, i realized that both of us are pretty similar. except that its soooo much harder to keep up with you. maybe im a slow learner. or maybe its because i think with my heart, not my brain. it seriously alters a person's IQ. but after you i will learn. i always do. cause like Nat, you aren't worth it. this isn't the end for us, becuase you still want your share of fun. But u have no idea that ive uncovered your predatory plot. i may let my heart lead me, but i also know how to pull myself back. like i said, we are pretty similar. hardly anyone gives me such a fucking good time...but i think life isnt all about fun and craziness is it? but at least you did something good. you helped distract me from Nat and you showed me that when one door slams so many others open. opportunities abound. you're leaving soon so i can't waste time. i must have been one of the manys. like the Jordin sparks song, truth is a stranger to me, i have to put my hand in the fire and get what im asking for. thats how i learn. But now that i realize nothing's broken, i have a new direction. You didn't break my heart, because it wasnt even whole to start with.
baby i'll walk the seven seas when i believe there's a reason to.
and now, my bed beckons
but i have to blog about my sudden epiphany..
i realise now that all this time i've been dreaming fruitlessly. how much more idealistic/emotional/romantic can i get..to think that i even for a second believed that this was more than it really was. i know now who you are, what you want, how you see me, what i am to you, and most of all, my own blatant naive foolishness. i can't do casual. its not me. of course we can be friends; i mean, wasn't that what we were all along? pardon my awkwardness; i assure you i'm trying to be as nonchalent as possible. i really am. i'm just not used to it thats all. what he said was right; about me being able to fall very steep and very fast and being completly oblivious to truth. what he said about you was right too; that you aren't ready, that you are not sure of what you want now and that we want each other for different reasons. oh, and the part that i deserve better. its just such a pity...because i really do like you...and i could like you even more. you know.. after our earlier conversation, i realized that both of us are pretty similar. except that its soooo much harder to keep up with you. maybe im a slow learner. or maybe its because i think with my heart, not my brain. it seriously alters a person's IQ. but after you i will learn. i always do. cause like Nat, you aren't worth it. this isn't the end for us, becuase you still want your share of fun. But u have no idea that ive uncovered your predatory plot. i may let my heart lead me, but i also know how to pull myself back. like i said, we are pretty similar. hardly anyone gives me such a fucking good time...but i think life isnt all about fun and craziness is it? but at least you did something good. you helped distract me from Nat and you showed me that when one door slams so many others open. opportunities abound. you're leaving soon so i can't waste time. i must have been one of the manys. like the Jordin sparks song, truth is a stranger to me, i have to put my hand in the fire and get what im asking for. thats how i learn. But now that i realize nothing's broken, i have a new direction. You didn't break my heart, because it wasnt even whole to start with.
baby i'll walk the seven seas when i believe there's a reason to.
and now, my bed beckons
posted by Sheryl at
2:06 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home