Oreo poops

I saw this AWESOME-LY cute pic on Nataliedee and it TOTALLY reminded me of baby !! hahhaaa

except Oreo's poop is MUCH bigger! LOL..

and though i complain like hell i love u baby

whoppee! Tmr is GST and Pay day*Ka-Ching$$$$$$$$

Coffee- Copeland

An verse from "Coffee" by Copeland

There's a love that transcends

all that we've known of ourselves,

and i'll wait for it to come,

i'll wait for it to come.

Well, it's got to be strong to touch my heart

through its shell,

and i'll wait for it to come,

i'll wait for it to come down.

because i'm waiting with fingers crossed tightly.

Robert Browning- Rabi Ben Ezra

Its only Nutrition and Risk Management this term but I'm feeling so stressed up and unrested. Its going to be a busy busy busy 3 more weeks and I'm dying for a break already!! URGH. And from next term onwards, we have school on saturdays :( SATURDAYS ???!?? Fooky's leaving in a few months and in less than 4 months I would have finsihed school. Did i mention that more than half of 2008 has passed ? I only hope that i will be able to manage my time much much better because I'm going to be so screwed if I don't.

But well recently, I came across this very comforting poem by Robert Browning. I've only copied down the first 6 verses of the extremely lonnnggg poem but already, it says so much. And it reminds me of what BC's mum said to me before, that " If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it" .

Rabbi Ben Ezra
Robert Browning (1864)

Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
The last of life, for which the first was made:
Our times are in his handWho saith,
“A whole I planned,Youth shows but half;
Trust God: see all, nor be afraid!”

http://poetry.about.com/od/poems/l/blbrowningbenezra.htm

A pic of Rocky and I

I called upon you 3 months ago and you answered me. For that, I can't offer enough thanksgiving

The pursuit of Happiness

One of my most look forwarded to weekend indulgences is reading Sumiko Tan's fortnightly column in LifeStyle. Its the first thing i do after waking up in the afternoons and comfortably positioning myself on the most pillow filled place on my couch. When Sumiko Tan was on leave for the last three weekends, i had serious withdrawal symptoms. Even TIME magazine was more interesting than LifeStyle then.

Anyway, last weekend, to my utmost delight, Sumiko Tan was back! I love her columns because they are a breeze to read, easy to relate to and i admire how she dares to expose her fears and weaknesses without inhibitions to a weekend crowd of close to 1.5million.

This week, she wrote about the Pursuit of Happiness

In the article, it is said that about 50% of a person's happiness depends on his genes. I read before somewhere that everyone has an innate set point of happiness, a happiness level that is in born. This level may move upwards or downwards depending on events but you can't change that equilibrium point God gave you. Point in view, your genes therefore determine whether you are going to have a happier ( or sadder) life as compared to others.

If I were to rate my own innate set point of happiness, on a scale of one to ten, i would give myself a 8.

But if i were to think about the Fendi bag that i adore, SJP's gorgeous wardrobe, my could be slimmer and taller body and my diminishing bank account balance, i would give myself a 7. hahaa.

I think, if i were to rate myself a few years ago, i would have given myself a 8.5. But, the difference now would be that I am able to appreciate happiness more than i could in the past. Maybe its such because i have lived through unhappiness and thus can compare both. So, besides genetics, does a person's happiness have to do with age, maturity and experience?

Like most people, everything i do, everything i hope for and everything i regret hinges on the pursuit of personal happiness. I dream of big things that would set me on the pinnacle of contentment but sometimes when that dream comes true, you don't always get the happiness you thought would come with it. I think it all boils down to how satisfied and contented you are as a person as well. I love to dream and idealize. i form castles in the skies, empires actually, and there are no limits in my horizons. Its all good if i was perhaps working for Oglivy but unfortunately I'm not , which is why i have to constantly remind myself to appreciate what i have and not set up barricades of expectations.

Before i end, i quote this phrase in the article " It is hard to be happy when you are stuck in the past or in the future" . From first hand experience i know how hard it is to be happy when you are stuck comparing you life with what you use to have. But the second part of this phrase which talked about being stuck in the future struck me. I never ever thought that thinking or fantasizing about a future would affect a person's happiness, but i guess, it makes perfect logical sense.

I think sometimes, you don't need big dreams to come true to make you happy. I have experienced utmost bliss in the most simple things. From a hug by a friend, a thoughtful SMS, gestures from strangers, sitting by the beach, drawing and laughing. Sometimes, when all these fail, i try to think of 2 things that will bring me back to/or raise my low point. First off, i will remind myself that what ever happens is by God's will and that for whatever that I'm going through it all happens for a reason. For He will not bring you where His grace cannot keep you. And second off, mummy once told me that sometimes in life, when you put your problems in perspective, it doesn't seem so bad after all. I mean, if i compare my problems to those we are grieving over loss of a family member, or to people in countries facing wars, i should consider myself a 9.5/10.

One reason why i like to blog is because it allows me to run through my thoughts, and when i pen them down, i feel so though I've just organized my life. And right now, my 8 has just moved up a notch.

On a different note, Its the start of something new now...(: All those years of experience have just gone down the drain because this is a totally new experience, I'm treading on foreign soil. I'm afraid of making the same mistake again, of getting hurt, or letting things get too far, of leaning too much on someone else...gosh i sound like a freaking pussy lah. I have lots of doubts and am uncertain as hell but all i can say is that I'm going to have faith and i hope i made the right decision. Who knows, maybe what i need right now is something different after all; and amidst all my doubts, I am Happy :D:D

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness. - Lamentations 3:22-23

Take a Bow

Anyway, I found a really apt song to close this chapter. Its not Bc's song because hers is to open the new beginnings that will come.

Abstracts from Rihanna's Take a Bow

How about a round of applause

Standing ovation

Talkin 'bout, 'Girl I love you, you're the one

This just looks like a rerun

And don't tell me you're sorry

Cause you're not.

But you put on quite a show

Really had me going

But now it's time to go

Curtain's finally closin'

That was quite a show

Very entertainin

But it's over now

Go on and take a bow.

And the award for the best lie goes to you

For makin' me believe

That you could be faithful to me

Let's hear your speech.

How about a round of applause

Standing Ovation

But you put on quite a show
Really had me going
But now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closin'
That was quite a show
Very entertainin
But it's over now
Go on and take a bow

Dear Nat

u Today is the 9th June 2008

And its been one year. One unbelievable and live-changing year.

I have been pondering on whether to send Nat a letter on this day, but i've decided against it. Instead, i will post his letter here. I don't care how chessy it sounds but here it goes.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear baby,

How are you? Hope you are doing great in Maybank and that life's been great for you. Guess what, its been one whole year since we've broken up. God, time really flies doesn't it?

Recently, i logged on to multiply and went through all the folders of pictures we had. Those were some pretty great times. Remember the first chalet at sentosa, the silly sailor moon stuff we did, the cooking sessions we had and the many many outings at the beach? We looked really different then, so much younger yet so much less cynical. I was reading the captions of the photos we took and most of them were affirmations of my stubborn and naive believe that we were meant to be. Well...who knew?

This one year has been really tough for me. But at the same time, it has been totally life changing. Its funny how one person can impact your life so much and leave such a significant impression. I felt as though you made me grow up over night. When it first happened, i was in total denial and all the advice i've given friends who have been heart broken went out the window. I was told that everything happens for a reason and that when God closes one door he opens another ..blah blah blah but i was too hurt to even think that there would be a light at the end of the tunnel. But looking back, i realised i was wrong.

At first, all i could focus on was what i was losing. Which was you, our dreams and our love. But now, i know that i was focusing on the wrong thing because this breakup was the most practical lesson that life could throw at me.

I lost myself when i was together with you. Like many other dumb person in love, i threw myself in the relationship and gave up my own dreams, my personality and who i was in order to be who you wanted me to be. Putting you on a pedestol made me inscure and incomplete.And i thought that void could be filled with more love from you. but the ignorance in me prevented me from seeing that i felt like that because i was losing me. This one year, I've learnt more about myself than i've ever known. And i promise myself i will never change who i am for another person because life doesn't just revolve around one person, but much more than that.

I thank God for this breakup because so much good came out from it. I found God again and i will never forget how he reached out into my wretched life and saved me. I know who my true friends are and i am so grateful for all who have stood by me through my ordeal. I was the most whiny bitch but you guys just tolerated my shit (: It drew me closer to my family. It gave me new found indepence. It made me less self centered. And its going to bring me someone better in my life. And im so proud of myself for staying single for a year, it was something i never thought i'd be able to do but i did it.

I've learnt that life is soooooo unexpected. We can plan out our life all we want but sometimes fate just comes along and has a different route for us. When that day comes, all we can do is try to take our disappointment with a pinch of salt because God never fails us. His timing is perfect and he alone knows what is best for us.

I don't regret our relationship at all. It was, without question, one of the best times of my life. You made me know love, and though the aftermath hurts like shit, i experienced the best best best feeling in the world. And i'm glad you were my first love because no one else could have made it more perfect.

I don't know if i will ever be able to have such feelings for anyone anymore. I don't know if i will stop doubting people. I don't know how long it will take for me to find someone new. I have so many unknowns littered in front of me but i feel so much stronger to deal with it this time. The fact that i have overcomed such extreme emotional pain has given me hope that there isn't anything that cannot be conquered without patience, faith and effort.

Its finally time to close our chapter. finally. There was an entry last year where i wrote that one day i will listen to love songs and think about you without heartache. And i have been doing so for a long time now (: Thank you for being one of the best parts of my life. I only wish the best for you and you will still be kept in my prayers.

I loved you once and i always will.

With love

Ps. BC, thanks so much for that really wonderful song. I came home and was feeling so emo and you have NO idea how much your song meant to me. really. And you're right , we're going to be the luckiest girls (: I am your hardcore groupie, the song rocks my socks (its on my repeat mode!!!) BIG BIG HUG

This will be the last entry i write about you

SATC

I've recently fallen in Sexy Love

And its giving me wings on my feet (:

To make things even better, I've not only fallen for one person, but four. Four gorgeous human beings by the names of Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samanthaaaaaaa.

Loving them is easy when they look oh so fabulous.

And oh oh, did i mention, i not only love them, i simply ADORE everything about them. Their wardrobe, their toned bodies, their Manolo Blahniks, their gorgeous handbags, their sexed up vibes and oh did i mention their wardrobe??

SATC has got to be my FAV movie of the whole year!! The fab clothes made me vow to throw out my closet and the hot shoes sent me into a shoe shopping frenzy; the girly bitching seemed almost all too familiar to me while the gawking at hot men together with the four girls made me feel less like a perv. The feeling of falling in and out of love and pulling yourself out of the mess felt like de javu , the feelings of feminist independence and best of all, the story of friendship moved me so!! awwww i wanna watch it again!

One question that got me and my friends asking each other was which character we are most alike in the show.

Truth be told, these four women are such amazing and unique individuals i think its hard to carbon copy one. But I'd like to think of myself as having a little bit of each of them. I think that theres a bit of Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha in us. If i had my way, i would want wish for Carrie's wardrobe and unimposing, charismatic nature, to look like Samantha at 51, Miranda's quick wit and cherry top my sundae with Charlotte's romantic yet very enduring views on the world. But alas i don't.

I am very much like Carrie when it comes to going crazy, living for the relationships Ive built around me and setting expectations for people ( and very much like her, especially in relationship issues). And like Carrie, i honor thy closet. When it comes to serious issue, I over complicate things like Miranda. I weigh the pros and cons so many times i sometimes forget to take a step back and ask myself what it is that will actually make me happy. I do have my Charlotte moments where i shriek out loud and am totally oblivious of how realistic the world is as i parade around my romantic ideals. Lastly, like Samantha, i simply A'dore the male anatomy. I unabashedly correct myself. What i meant was, i A'dore the hot bods of eye pleasing males very much.

Sigh. I want Vivienne Westwood for my wedding.

Shoe shopping is keeping me enthusiastic about life, till another time :S

I'm counting down to the 365thday